In Case I’m Popped Up in Your Mind

Photo by Uta Scholl on Unsplash

I haven’t seen you in a long time. I simply want to let you know that I’m fine right now if I ever come up in your thoughts. I truly tell you this whether you ask or not, but just in case you’re curious, I’m fine.

It’s been a long time since we last saw each other. Oh, how I miss those times. Do you think so? Well, I did my usual thing, but it was a little different since my college studying habits were completed. There are days when I do a lot of things at home, and then there are days when I do nothing. It’s true that it’s a bit of a jumble.

If I have enough energy, I write things, go outside, check on friends, read a lot of things on mental health, work, and anything else I’m interested in, listen to rap tunes, and so on. I’ve recently started reading The Life of Pi.

When I’m feeling down or numb, I turn to YouTube and listen to peaceful music. I went to the melodic cover songs on One Voice Children’s channel. It was enjoyable. One More Light and You Will Be Found was fantastic. Every time I hear the song “When This Rain Stops,” it makes my ears ring. It was an amazing feeling.

Let me tell you about a new habit I’ve recently developed. Is there anything to be proud of here? I’m not sure, but it helps me a lot in my daily life these days. I resolved to deactivate the Instagram app on my phone and spend less time on social media watching people’s stories. Instagram and WhatsApp are both social media platforms.

I feel drained and a little lost when I do things like this. I don’t have the energy to devote to social media. So I made the decision to do it for myself. There are a lot of things I’m not sure of. It’s probably simply post-college life.

“Everything will be OK later,” a friend of mine said.

I still check my social media accounts, but more to see other kinds of accounts rather than someone’s personal account. That’s why, if you ever question why I’m not on social media at this time, even if only for 0.0001 seconds, that question crossed your mind, I want you to know that I’m still here. Here in the Vastness

How’s it doing so far? I’d like to see how you’re doing, but I’m not quite ready yet. I allow myself extra time to work on it. I’m hesitant to contact or call you because I continuously build up horrible situations in my mind, despite my best efforts to become friends with it and fight my bad beliefs.

I do know that negative thoughts are totally at odds with reality. My therapist said that. It was just my thoughts. Even so, I hope we can talk again like we used to someday. If we do not have the chance to do that, I will always wish you all the best in your life instead.

Things have changed since the last time we met, right? We cannot deny it. That’s just life. One of the reasons I’m writing this is because I feel you all aren’t comfortable enough when we talk on WhatsApp or other messaging apps. If I ever text you first and try to start a conversation, it’s actually because I want to stay connected with you.

However, I believe that in a conversation, both parties should be willing to converse. But I’m not getting those vibes, so we’ll have to cut this conversation short. To be honest, I don’t intend to blame anyone. It’s just the way things go in life. We don’t always get our desires fulfilled.

If I’ve ever lingered in your thoughts, let me tell you that I’ve been spending my spare time on the internet lately catching up with strangers. That was ridiculously funny. I share various stories with strangers. That’s a great way to spend some time. Because you and I don’t talk much, I think it’d be interesting to meet people whose experiences I’ve never heard of.

Just in case I come up in your thoughts, I’d like to let you know that I’m fine and that I hope you are as well. I want you to know that you will always be people for whom I am grateful to God in my life, even if I do not come to mind.

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